Working, sweating disorder
Some days it is a nasty feeling. Dried sweat is on you. You have not exercised but you have walked around your office. You have walked so many fucking times. And you have written things and had good conversations and talked to good…
At first I thought “this peace is rare”
But oh — how dare I.
How dare I say that nights like today
Don’t pull me
Snag and snag.
It is I who doesn’t look
Open up listen and yield
The quietness is hollering
While I drown in deaf unconscious.
There is nothing so vital as the breeze’s subtle speak
The noise the noise the noise kills
The punches of the busy crowd are not awakening you, energizing you.
They bruise they bruise they bruise.
And quietness knows no such black and blue
But only white clarity
Ready, animated, gentle, still.
It’s been only a few hours since I last wrote here. Less than 12 I think. But let’s not linger on math. Silly.
I am a little upset that I am losing parts of myself that I used to hold so close — bits of my identity. In…
I’ve been mulling over, lately, whether my beliefs about friendships are true. Do I need them at all? Of course we all need friendships. But what I really mean to say is this — I have always struggled with friendships, and I’m really fed up with trying. It does not…
I woke up after dreaming terrible things. More rejection from an old rejection. I asked for two minutes of their time, please, and when they said no I became livid. It was unpleasant. I’m sick of dreaming about these things. But somehow I also know it’s a sign of me…
Jamie walked briskly from the parking lot toward the fluorescent lights and the doors which spread on their own and were practically beckoning. The sky above her was a billowing capsule of smoke — a chrome firmament that whispered of the impending storm. Jamie glanced up before entering the…